"Out of body and out of mind, Kiss the demons out of my dreams"
Ok, my hands are little shaky, so disregard typos.
My wisdom teeth were pulled out yesterday. Fun experience. Not really.
See, I didn't even get to sleep in. I had to wake up earlier.
We drive to the dentist's, I'm asleep. Like half-awake. With this really crazy chick getting me set up.
She sticks the napkiny things around my neck and starts messing around behind me.
Lovely nose that I have here. It hates doctor's offices. I guess dentist's count too, cause I sneezed.
"Is that your sneeze? It's so little." And then the dorkiest laught comes out of her mouth.
Did I mention she was blonde? I really wanted to ask her if that was her laugh cause it was really idiotic...but I kept my mouth shut. But now she felt the need to talk. Once again. Blonde. Despite the complete silence from my end on most questions...she continues to talk. At seven in the morning...I am not very receptive.
"What school do you go to?"
"Harrison."
"Reallllyy???? I graduated from there, but I won't tell you what year."
"......" (Lady, I really, truly care.)
"I mean I'm not that old but.....so are things still crazy there?"
"......."
"Are there still cops everywhere."
"No."
"Well, they did tell us that we were the worst class they ever had." And she laughs again. I think I visibly cringed. My dentist nurse person is a juvenile delinquent......great.
Luckily, the dentist walks in and saves me. Though I'm not so trustworthy of him either. Exhibit A: the certificate on the wall is to a Michael Lawyer and it is from IU. Hah. I'm gonna die.
"How's your day going?"
"Nnn." (How the fuck do you think it's going?)
I think he got the hint, because he started working on the computer or something.
So now the nurse is setting up the IV. She's trying to pull a little bit out into a syringe. Luckily, the doctor saves me and I begin to trust him. Cause all this lady is getting is air. And the IV tube is not tightly on the bag. He fixes this. I am cheering. For a little while.
He proceeds to tie something around my right arm.
"Is that snug?"
"Like cutting off my circulation snug?"
"Yeah."
"Then no."
Oh wait, pause. I forgot to tell you. After the nurse set up all the things that monitor my blood pressure and heart beat...I had some fun screwing with her mind. I find out taking deep breaths speeds up one of the beeps. So when it jumps from 60 to 115, she looks at it, then at me. Me with my cute angelic smile. The monitor is back down to a constant 60. Repeat a few times, and she gets kind of angry with you. But doesn't say anything.
Anyways, back to where I was.
The dentist ties the thing back around my arm, except it falls off. I inform him, and he reties, this time tight.
And now he can't find my vein. Lovely.
"Pump your fist a few times...Good, I can see it now."
Obviously not, because the guy missed the first three stabs, then got it after a little manuvering in my arm.
After that everything got sort of fuzzy. I only remember one part.
"Did you know that there isn't a needle in your arm anymore?" I shook my head no. I never felt it come out.
"It's really a little tube now, some people don't know how IV's are really set up."
"Oh, I knew that. I thought you meant if I felt it." (Do you take me for a dumbass?)
Then things went really fuzzy. I remember people unhooking the stuff from me.
"Look at her shirt." I hear a few laughs. I wore me 'I hate everyone. Please make a note of it.' shirt today. Came prepared.
Then I remembered a voice.
"Why are you crying, sweetheart?"
I'm crying? Guess I am. I manage to force out three letters.
"P-M-S."
Yeah, see my life is great. I get to start crying at every little bit of stress on the day they cut four of my fucking teeth out.
They stick me in a wheel chair and my mom helps me into the car. She starts tearing up, cause I'm crying. She feels really guilty.
I don't remember the ride home. I remember my mom placing my coat on top of me and then pulling me out of the car later. I remember having to lean on her for balance until I made it to bed. Which I literally fell on. Then I was out.
An hour later....I am awake once more. And my mouth hurts like a bitch.
"Mom....Mom."
"What? I just got to sleep."
"Pills."
She gives me pills, new gauze pads for the bleeding and I am back to bed.
An hour later.
"Mom....mom."
"What? Today is supposed to be my day to sleep!"
"Food."
She feeds me, and complains some more. Then calls her mom to share her woes. Till I point out one thing.
"If it weren't for me, you would be at work."
I go back to sleep....
an hour later.
"Pills."
"You took some three hours ago."
"Pain."
"Okay, I'll get the Vicodin."
She gives me the pills.
"Come here honey, lay down. I'll hug you."
"I hate you."
So after a little more sleeping, I try to eat some pudding. Only to throw up the ramen noodles. Then later the pudding. Then the oatmeal.
Apparently, my soup diet has become a bulemic diet. I currently have three total bites of pudding and a little Coolwhip in my stomach. I can take a bite or two of food every hour.
I hate throwing up. What I hate more is the fever that goes along with this stupid thing.
Sometimes I'm sweating, but my body is really cool. Other times my body is hot, but I'm shivering.
And the Vicodin leaves a little bit of pain and no happy la la feeling. However, I learned last night that waiting longer than six hours to take a pill makes the entire right side of your jaw seize up in pain. Which makes it really hard to swallow the damn pill.
Going back to bed. Night night.
"Drain the pressure from the swelling,
The sensations overwhelming,
Give me a kiss goodnight and everything will be alright
Tell me that I won't feel a thing
So give me Novacaine."
My wisdom teeth were pulled out yesterday. Fun experience. Not really.
See, I didn't even get to sleep in. I had to wake up earlier.
We drive to the dentist's, I'm asleep. Like half-awake. With this really crazy chick getting me set up.
She sticks the napkiny things around my neck and starts messing around behind me.
Lovely nose that I have here. It hates doctor's offices. I guess dentist's count too, cause I sneezed.
"Is that your sneeze? It's so little." And then the dorkiest laught comes out of her mouth.
Did I mention she was blonde? I really wanted to ask her if that was her laugh cause it was really idiotic...but I kept my mouth shut. But now she felt the need to talk. Once again. Blonde. Despite the complete silence from my end on most questions...she continues to talk. At seven in the morning...I am not very receptive.
"What school do you go to?"
"Harrison."
"Reallllyy???? I graduated from there, but I won't tell you what year."
"......" (Lady, I really, truly care.)
"I mean I'm not that old but.....so are things still crazy there?"
"......."
"Are there still cops everywhere."
"No."
"Well, they did tell us that we were the worst class they ever had." And she laughs again. I think I visibly cringed. My dentist nurse person is a juvenile delinquent......great.
Luckily, the dentist walks in and saves me. Though I'm not so trustworthy of him either. Exhibit A: the certificate on the wall is to a Michael Lawyer and it is from IU. Hah. I'm gonna die.
"How's your day going?"
"Nnn." (How the fuck do you think it's going?)
I think he got the hint, because he started working on the computer or something.
So now the nurse is setting up the IV. She's trying to pull a little bit out into a syringe. Luckily, the doctor saves me and I begin to trust him. Cause all this lady is getting is air. And the IV tube is not tightly on the bag. He fixes this. I am cheering. For a little while.
He proceeds to tie something around my right arm.
"Is that snug?"
"Like cutting off my circulation snug?"
"Yeah."
"Then no."
Oh wait, pause. I forgot to tell you. After the nurse set up all the things that monitor my blood pressure and heart beat...I had some fun screwing with her mind. I find out taking deep breaths speeds up one of the beeps. So when it jumps from 60 to 115, she looks at it, then at me. Me with my cute angelic smile. The monitor is back down to a constant 60. Repeat a few times, and she gets kind of angry with you. But doesn't say anything.
Anyways, back to where I was.
The dentist ties the thing back around my arm, except it falls off. I inform him, and he reties, this time tight.
And now he can't find my vein. Lovely.
"Pump your fist a few times...Good, I can see it now."
Obviously not, because the guy missed the first three stabs, then got it after a little manuvering in my arm.
After that everything got sort of fuzzy. I only remember one part.
"Did you know that there isn't a needle in your arm anymore?" I shook my head no. I never felt it come out.
"It's really a little tube now, some people don't know how IV's are really set up."
"Oh, I knew that. I thought you meant if I felt it." (Do you take me for a dumbass?)
Then things went really fuzzy. I remember people unhooking the stuff from me.
"Look at her shirt." I hear a few laughs. I wore me 'I hate everyone. Please make a note of it.' shirt today. Came prepared.
Then I remembered a voice.
"Why are you crying, sweetheart?"
I'm crying? Guess I am. I manage to force out three letters.
"P-M-S."
Yeah, see my life is great. I get to start crying at every little bit of stress on the day they cut four of my fucking teeth out.
They stick me in a wheel chair and my mom helps me into the car. She starts tearing up, cause I'm crying. She feels really guilty.
I don't remember the ride home. I remember my mom placing my coat on top of me and then pulling me out of the car later. I remember having to lean on her for balance until I made it to bed. Which I literally fell on. Then I was out.
An hour later....I am awake once more. And my mouth hurts like a bitch.
"Mom....Mom."
"What? I just got to sleep."
"Pills."
She gives me pills, new gauze pads for the bleeding and I am back to bed.
An hour later.
"Mom....mom."
"What? Today is supposed to be my day to sleep!"
"Food."
She feeds me, and complains some more. Then calls her mom to share her woes. Till I point out one thing.
"If it weren't for me, you would be at work."
I go back to sleep....
an hour later.
"Pills."
"You took some three hours ago."
"Pain."
"Okay, I'll get the Vicodin."
She gives me the pills.
"Come here honey, lay down. I'll hug you."
"I hate you."
So after a little more sleeping, I try to eat some pudding. Only to throw up the ramen noodles. Then later the pudding. Then the oatmeal.
Apparently, my soup diet has become a bulemic diet. I currently have three total bites of pudding and a little Coolwhip in my stomach. I can take a bite or two of food every hour.
I hate throwing up. What I hate more is the fever that goes along with this stupid thing.
Sometimes I'm sweating, but my body is really cool. Other times my body is hot, but I'm shivering.
And the Vicodin leaves a little bit of pain and no happy la la feeling. However, I learned last night that waiting longer than six hours to take a pill makes the entire right side of your jaw seize up in pain. Which makes it really hard to swallow the damn pill.
Going back to bed. Night night.
"Drain the pressure from the swelling,
The sensations overwhelming,
Give me a kiss goodnight and everything will be alright
Tell me that I won't feel a thing
So give me Novacaine."
posted by Tiffany at 10:38 AM
1 comments
