"And I'm on fire when you're near me. I'm on fire when you speak. I'm on fire burning at these mysteries."

The past two days can best be described as forlorn. They weren't in the beginning. Wednesday everyone kept asking me if I was ok. I didn't think any thing of it, I was perfectly fine. Then Jaki asked me in Algebra II. I had been sitting there for a while, not actually even thinking. Just sitting. I realized maybe I wasn't ok. Everyone around me seemed so happy, but something felt like it was missing. And it kind of still is.

Chemistry kind of hurt. I overheard Rachel talking to Ryo. I asked her who they were talking about. She said no one. Two simple words, but they automatically stung. I don't think she meant it, but I withdrew suddenly.

I asked her if it was about this girl I heard got in a fight with Ryo. It was. There was no reason to keep me out of the conversation. But she was going to.

Oh well. Just a feeling of exclusion. It doesn't matter.

Today was a drifty sort of day. Nothing exciting, just sitting. Mike didn't show up to the Quiz Bowl practice that he arranged. We barely practiced, more of rambled on about random things. It was quite boring and I once again felt as if I don't quite belong. Everyone has their own little group in Quiz Bowl. I'm the odd person out.

Everywhere.

Next weekend I will get the house all to myself practically. Not including the sister that will surely be locked in the bedroom of hers after an hour.

I need something to cheer me up. The weekend will help. Right now I just feel empty, yet so full of emotions I don't want to feel.

Conflicts rage. Feelings drop. Just close my eyes till they all stop.