"Seize the day or die regretting the time you lost It's empty and cold without you here, too many people to ache over"

Spring Break.

And I am utterly alone. Except for Ari and maybe Heather.

But in reality I am alone. Dragged down by the two monstrous little kids I must reign over for the week.

I feel I must write my composition for music theory in this time. Use my keyboard and guitar. Though in reality, just my keyboard. Because it contains a guitar "tone" and that will better transfer to the school's "guitar tone" than my actual guitar would. Basically, no bends, slides, or anything at all that makes a guitar fun. The sound will end up being a piano and a piano that sounds like a guitar. Joy.

I am contemplating writing a real song, so that the music isn't a jumbled up mess.

In reality, I am sitting here. At 10:38 a.m., wondering why I didn't keep sleeping. Why I am here. If I should accomplish something spectacular in this week.

If I am capable of something spectacular.

I asked Heather on Friday if I sometimes acted arrogant about my intelligence. This was prompted by something I said in English, and the reply. To my horror, she said sometimes I do act that way, though it is more of me being confident in my intelligence. I am disgusted. I didn't realize I acted that way, except for using it to pull something over friends, as much as I would height, at least in Heather's case.

I must change this. I didn't realize I was an egotistical person like some people I see in the Honors classes. This bugs me. I dislike those people, or at least their opinions, and it saddens me greatly that I am one of them. I realized that I have an ego, and that it was larger than I would like, but this never crossed my mind.

Maybe people have a right in saying that I'm mean and scary. Maybe I am.

I'm starting to scare myself.