"In a box high up on the shelf, left for you, no one else. There's a piece of a puzzle known as life. Wrapped in guilt, sealed up tight."

I am one of thirty-three poets who have had their poems selected for the Editor's Choice Award. Basically, I get a pretty certificate and published in another book. Again. I also will have my poem put on a CD. However, as both are about $50.00 a piece, I will not be getting either. It's really cool though. Brightened up my bad day.

Very bad.

Started out the day. Didn't want to get up. Got up anyway. Had to shove my shoes on as I scurried out the door. Almost tripped on the door frame.

I moved down from 4th to 9th chair in band. That doesn't really bug me too much. Just that Ryo and I no longer sit next to each other. Instead, I am sitting next to a saxophone player and a girl who can't play the clarinet very well. As of the first day of having third clarinet music, I still played better than her. Unfortunately, I have a bad hearing problem. I hear every wrong note. Hence part of the reason why I loved sitting next to Ryo. Now I spend the class cringing. But I don't want to be a know-it-all. I just want to get to Wind Orchestra. And survive.

I forgot to do my Spanish homework. Ok. Not too bad. I'm getting 106% in that class, because of all the extra credit.

I walked into English depressed. The class kept staying silent whenever the teacher asked something. I hate my annoying habit of being smart. I wish I were entirely dumb. Of course, it's not that they're dumb, they just don't want to answer. Like I do! Yet, I always end up answering. Because I'm stupid. The student teacher also has these ideas to summarize the chapters. First one done with the chapter summarizes. Shit, I'm already screwed. I read extremely fast for some strange reason. So of course, I'm done in two to three minutes. Guess who gets to summarize?

Then, the guy I normally walk behind was being slow, so I was stuck behind the really slow people. I hate slow people. I hate life. It sucks. Bad.

I didn't eat lunch. Wasn't hungry. I got another button in an effort to make me happy. Well, rather I paid Josh to get me another button because I was lazy.

Apparently I missed the rush in Algebra 2 for the graphing calculators. Me, Joseph, and Jaki were left without calculators. So I asked the class nicely if someone would be willing to share. No one answered. Out of all the supposed "teacher-pet" smart kids, not one was willing to share.

I suppose they aren't so intelligent. They don't know how not to make me mad. Thank god for Joseph. He asked Zach to share with Clara. Zach was the one unselfish person. Besides Pfaff, who was already sharing.

I don't get it. If I had a graphing calculator, I would have shared it. Then again, I guess it comes back down to the fact that I'm too nice. And naive. I expect other people to be nice. Something I should have learned not to expect by now.

I screwed up entirely in Music Theory. I have no clue what I'm doing, my song sounds like crap and I do not understand voice leading. At all.

My bad day almost continued. I figured that with how my day was going, I more than likely recieved a D on my Chemistry test. I got a B. That's ok. I'm happy with that.

"And I'm staring down the barrel of a 45, swimming through the ashes of another life."