"I can feel my mind, wandering again."

My truck has a brand new battery. And battery terminals. And the screw in my tire is gone and plugged. I'm happy.

This also drags up a few unwanted memories. All I can think of when my brother is fixing my truck is that I'm so glad my father left.

Glad he's not here to say he'll do it. And put it off. Put my problems off. Put his daughter off.

I was once asked what I regretted most in life. It took me forever to answer that question. I came up with only one thing: being naive.

As intelligent and mature as I was as a child, I believed people could do now wrong. In my eyes, everyone was nice and caring.

It took me a while to grow up. To realize that people usually have their own best interests at heart. I've become tired of people who are jerks and have no feelings for anyone else.

For instance, lately I've been playing Runescape. Yes, I know it's addictive and evil. However, it's somewhat of a mindless game, which is exactly what I need to keep me from going insane during the summer. It passes time without me noticing and thinking, therefore preserving my brain.

Anyways, I've met all sorts of people on Runescape. Ranging from jerks to nice people to guys stalking me trying to get me to be their girlfriend. I'm usually the quiet observer. I don't say anything unless talked to first. I'm courteous to everyone and I help anyone who asks me. In return I get people heckling me, calling me a noob, trying to scam me, and no one ever willing to give help when I need it.

Granted, I do see a few nice people, one guy tried to give me free stuff. I refused, because I'm stubborn and want to do everything by myself. Of course, now I'm screwed because I need a friend to complete this one quest, but I'm working on that.

Back to my point. People are selfish evil beings. How do you be mean and rude to a person without having ever met them? Could the human race be any more judgemental?

Well, that's actually quite a stupid question to ask. I pride in the fact that I'm not prejudiced. I once thought that my generation was less assholish than the last group, which I suppose we are. Slightly.

Even now, I still see moments when I'm naive. I expect a person to be nice, only to find out they aren't. And it takes me a while. Then I yell at myself for being stupid. For automatically trusting a person. It's gotten me into a lot of trouble.

For that reason, I don't consider myself a good judge of character. I block out the bad things a lot of the time, or I don't even see them.

I didn't even see that I was already beginning to hate my father before he left. It took me weeks afterward to realize it.

I'm so unobservant to my own feelings. I seem to always shut them up and I can never tell which one is poking out. It's difficult to express your emotions when you don't even know what they're saying.

I can't think of the last time I cried in front of someone non-family. I think it was around the fourth grade. I don't like crying. It makes me sad.