"You're the blood in my veins. You're the fire burning deep inside."

Yes, I know. Bad me. I haven't posted since....I was nuts. I sincerely apologize for my last post and I will never drink that much caffeine again.

My weekend. It could only be described as a blur. A mindless wandering of nothing. I bought a new pair of pants at Wal-Mart. I slept until 1:30 in the afternoon. I stayed up late doing.....I don't remember. I went to library. Got a computer game. Spent thirty minutes installing it. Reading the manual. Preparing myself. Exciting myself.

It didn't work. Crappy library crap. Never get DVD's or CD's. They suck there.

Spent two hours reading a big book that I've been waiting forever to get. It was good. However, now I am waiting for the next one to come out. Uggh. I hate waiting.

I was going to discuss prejudice and my brother this post, but I don't have much time. Maybe later I shall rant about my brother's shortsightedness and the fact that he is being very hypocritical.

Till tomorrow. Or tonight. Or whenever I see you people. Have a good day. Pray it comes out better than mine.

Speaking of said brother, he pulled me out of bed yesterday. After I had my mom smack him for flipping me off. Which I did absolutely nothing to deserve.

Oh well. He's my brother. I love him, but sometimes I can't stand him.

"An angel's smile is what you sell, promise me heaven, then put me through hell"

First I must say. What the fuck?

I am the most popular link on Ryo's blog. Why are you people coming here? Who are you? And most importantly, go away! Well, I suppose not really, but honestly, what is wrong with you that you want to read this? Crazy people.....

I just got back from my little sister's musical. Excuse me, let me rephrase that slightly. I just got back from being dragged through torture. Much more truthful.

Personally, I was with the kid in the middle, rolling his eyes and not singing.

Then they started listing states. Headphones were immediately in my ears and I was gone.

Speaking of which, my mp3 player was out of order today. Now that was almost deadly. See, I was syncing it last night and my computer went on standby. Effectively freezing it to the "docked" mode. So, lucky person that I am, had to run the battery down. When it died, I plugged it back in. But by morning it was not charged. I was without music.

Grr........................

So I secured a CD player from Ari and commandeered a CD. Primitive, but it worked.

Commandeered is a very funny word. Interesting also. It rolls off the tongue quite nicely. Commandeered. I like it. It's funny.

Anyway, that was off subject. Back to my day. I sat down at a computer to type my persuasive essay in English today.

Oh crap, I still have to pick a topic for my persuasive speech. Whoops.

Anyway, I was typing my essay in English. The guy that Ryo has been itching for me to talk to sat down a computer away. Did I talk to him? No. Of course not. You people expect too much. I know nothing about the guy. Why would I start talking to him? I was really just looking for something random to say. So that you strange and curious people will go away.

Curiousity killed the cat.

But satisfaction brought it back.

But the cat only has nine lives to die.

And now I'm arguing with myself. See? I'm weird! Stay away!

Ryo got glue gunk all on his hands. That was quite funny. I'm glad I didn't decide to put it in my hands. Then Pfaff did the exact same thing. Idiot. Still funny.

Ok, I'm going to go now. I have websites to ponder and browse. Stuff to download. I also have to find the AC/DC song that has been stuck in my head for over a week. Now that is annoying.

Buh-bye. Stay away crazy people.

Crap, I'm crazy. Would that mean that I would have to stay away. Nah, just leave me alone in my straitjacket.

I seriously have no idea what I'm on. The little kids must have invaded my brain. That sounds probable. I think we'll go with that.

"Take me away. I'm gonna hurt somebody." Take Me Away - Plain White T's

"Everything is burning, everything is changing, right before our eyes and we can't see how quickly time is fading away."

Ok, quick recap of the past few days.

Friday: Tired, slightly depressed. Then I went to a rock concert. Much fun and headbanging. Spent my lunch money. Don't regret it.

Saturday: Woke up sore. And early. Considering how late I went to bed, way too early. Helped with Quiz Bowl meet. Played an awesome game of tag.
------The meet was quite fun. More fun than I've had in a long time. Well, except for Friday night. Anyways, at the finals, our scoring person had ditched us. Keenan and Ryo were up above the stage, leaving me to screw around with the computer and add up points. On a scoring system that I don't know. Yep. I got screwed over. I tried to use Microsoft Word as if it were Word Perfect. I had a bunch of people screaming in my ear and my hopeless tries projected onto a enormous screen. Lovely. Then, the reader did not say how many points one of the questions was worth. I looked around and the varsity had no clue. I looked at one of the dudes who had a question book. He said twenty. While he was saying that, another question had passed. I asked the varsity how many points it was worth. Two of them got all snippity and told me like I was stupid. Grr....but in the end, that was the only mishap.

Saturday night: I went to see a concert with Ryo. For my concert review. I made funny comments about the concert and we defaced Ryo's program entirely. Then, I felt so horrible. Ryo told me if his sister saw me she'd tease him horribly. I couldn't stop laughing. I suppose that wasn't very nice, but even now I'm having trouble typing with a straight face. But it was nice to laugh that hard. It's been a while since I did that too. I imagine many people were staring at us while I was laughing my head off. Oh well.

My mother, who was so worried about me when I went to the rock concert, dropped me off at Purdue without even a be careful. Hypocrite. Then, when I called her, she was worried again. Because it was dark. I suppose my mom is terrified of the dark. Strangely, I wasn't even scared. I just think that there's so many more places to hide in the darkness. But I imagine that goes both ways.

Ok, that took forever. Now for my ranting, complaining aspect of the blog. Yes, I know, I complain a lot. Even though I never mean it. It just makes conversation. If I talked about the wonderful things of my day everyone would be bored.

Anyways. Chemistry. Seventh period. I now finally understand why people dislike Russell. I may mention that he has now shot up on my bad list.

Mrs. Schott was saying that we would be learning only a few hundred of compounds to name. I, jokingly, said that a hundred was a million to us. I mean we're teenagers. That's our concept of numbers.

Russell said that I would probably end up in the liberal arts area.

Me. Offended much? Of course.

I said try vet. He then said that a hundred better not be a million to me.

Grr.................I'm not stupid. Did he not hear the laughing tone to my voice as I said it?

People annoy me. The few exceptions must be anomalies. I hope to find more of them. Then I won't be alone.

"In a box high up on the shelf, left for you, no one else. There's a piece of a puzzle known as life. Wrapped in guilt, sealed up tight."

I am one of thirty-three poets who have had their poems selected for the Editor's Choice Award. Basically, I get a pretty certificate and published in another book. Again. I also will have my poem put on a CD. However, as both are about $50.00 a piece, I will not be getting either. It's really cool though. Brightened up my bad day.

Very bad.

Started out the day. Didn't want to get up. Got up anyway. Had to shove my shoes on as I scurried out the door. Almost tripped on the door frame.

I moved down from 4th to 9th chair in band. That doesn't really bug me too much. Just that Ryo and I no longer sit next to each other. Instead, I am sitting next to a saxophone player and a girl who can't play the clarinet very well. As of the first day of having third clarinet music, I still played better than her. Unfortunately, I have a bad hearing problem. I hear every wrong note. Hence part of the reason why I loved sitting next to Ryo. Now I spend the class cringing. But I don't want to be a know-it-all. I just want to get to Wind Orchestra. And survive.

I forgot to do my Spanish homework. Ok. Not too bad. I'm getting 106% in that class, because of all the extra credit.

I walked into English depressed. The class kept staying silent whenever the teacher asked something. I hate my annoying habit of being smart. I wish I were entirely dumb. Of course, it's not that they're dumb, they just don't want to answer. Like I do! Yet, I always end up answering. Because I'm stupid. The student teacher also has these ideas to summarize the chapters. First one done with the chapter summarizes. Shit, I'm already screwed. I read extremely fast for some strange reason. So of course, I'm done in two to three minutes. Guess who gets to summarize?

Then, the guy I normally walk behind was being slow, so I was stuck behind the really slow people. I hate slow people. I hate life. It sucks. Bad.

I didn't eat lunch. Wasn't hungry. I got another button in an effort to make me happy. Well, rather I paid Josh to get me another button because I was lazy.

Apparently I missed the rush in Algebra 2 for the graphing calculators. Me, Joseph, and Jaki were left without calculators. So I asked the class nicely if someone would be willing to share. No one answered. Out of all the supposed "teacher-pet" smart kids, not one was willing to share.

I suppose they aren't so intelligent. They don't know how not to make me mad. Thank god for Joseph. He asked Zach to share with Clara. Zach was the one unselfish person. Besides Pfaff, who was already sharing.

I don't get it. If I had a graphing calculator, I would have shared it. Then again, I guess it comes back down to the fact that I'm too nice. And naive. I expect other people to be nice. Something I should have learned not to expect by now.

I screwed up entirely in Music Theory. I have no clue what I'm doing, my song sounds like crap and I do not understand voice leading. At all.

My bad day almost continued. I figured that with how my day was going, I more than likely recieved a D on my Chemistry test. I got a B. That's ok. I'm happy with that.

"And I'm staring down the barrel of a 45, swimming through the ashes of another life."

"Set in stone the sun will come and I hate light, you know I hate light. To me it looks so pretty burning."

A prize to anyone who can guess the name of the song from the lyrics above. I don't know what the prize would be though. I can't actually think of one to give. No money shall part from my hand. I would say a hug, but I've had bad experiences today with being touched. Hmm....this is a very problematic dilemma.

Random contest of the day. My day. My random day. My very freakily random day.

Chemistry test. Didn't study, probably failed.

I wore something I guess a bit tighter than normal. Don't know why. A lot of people commented on my red shirt though. Don't know why.

Teehee. I said "Don't know why." twice.

Actually, that slightly irks me. It illuminates to me the fact that I have been running on pure routine all day. Nothing out of the ordinary. Unless it came out of my mouth.

My mom picked me up from QuizBowl in my truck. I was so happy.

We bought ice cream at Payless. We had to eat some when we came home because it was somewhat melted. That way it wouldn't taste weird refrozen. So I took the top layer of a cookies & cream batch. My stomach is full of fluff and I think I shall not touch the ice cream for a week.

Oh, I just remembered. It took me a while. Sorry, my brain also seems to be full of fluff. Lack of caffeine. Wait, let me drink some.

............(We all wait as Tiffany downs some Wild Cherry Pepsi)
...........................

Ok, all better.

I happen to be quite ticklish. Apparently, everyone at lunch decided to gang up on me down the hallway. Which has a boy's bathroom on the side. See how much fun this is so far?

Anyway, so they tickle me, I lose control of my feet in laughter. I ram into the wall, hitting the frame of the opening to the boy's bathroom. A couple of feet and I would have been entering unknown territory.

Well, not really. I was in a guy's bathroom once before in the 8th grade. We were washing stuff for a teacher, the whole class, and the girl's bathroom ran out paper towels. So we went into the guys. We got yelled at too.

I tripped going up the stairs. Well, more like slipped. Yay! Go my klutzy self! Go!

I hate stairs.

"Our memories blanket us with friends we know like fallout vapor. Steel corpses stretch out towards and ending sun, scorched and black."

I went with my brother for a drive today.

Out in the pouring rain.

But this is our "bonding time" I suppose. We drive down the road. He asks me if I like different songs. I comment on the overplayed ones and the fact that I will never listen to a guy who sings in falsetto that frickin' high.

Scary.

Honestly, hanging out with Charlie is awesome. He used to be mean to me as a kid, but he's grown up. At least that's what my mom says. I say it's because my little sister was born. Then Charlie realized I wasn't so bad.

We shop in silence at Wal-Mart. He gives a few small tips on random items. I nod my head. We turn the corner and I almost bump into a lady. She says excuse me. Then speeds past. I'm left nodding to empty air.

My pocket jingles with the pound of pennies my brother gave me for some odd, unknown reason. I ignore the looks from people as my brother and I go past. I know they're thinking we're a couple. Yuck! If only my brother looked older. Or I looked younger.

Electronics section. Sweet. My brother goes straight for Xbox 360 games. I hover around Playstation 2. Once I have perused all that is there, I join him.

Now, I shall give all you random people, who probably don't care, an insight to what I think about guys. A moment I chose to focus totally on guys so that you could have this insight.

I see a cute guy standing by the cheap Xbox games. Cool hair, nice eyes.

My brother is now rattling off to some guy about Oblivion. Scary that I understand them.

Now, if I were to flirt, I would casually walk over to the same area, pick up a game and look at it.

But I stay with my brother. A girl walks over by the cute guy. Damn. Girlfriend. Not that I was going to do anything anyway. These are just observations.

So I scout out another guy. By now, it's more of an experiment, for this blog in fact. Found one. Cute guy #2 has awesome hair but isn't quite as cute. He's staring at the movies.

I get distracted. My brother is now talking about the differences between LCD and plasma. This interests me. I know something about it, but don't interject.

In this moment, #2 disappears. Oh well. I glance over back to the cheap Xbox games. Cute guy #1 is now standing alone, still flipping through games. Ahhh, not girlfriend, just mutual shopping interests. He walks over to the registers were my brother and the two Electronics guy are talking. He doesn't interrupt, but I sense he's trying to buy something. I look again and he's looking at me. Once again, I notice his eyes. They are a very strange shade of blue. Then, I notice they are staring a little farther below my eyes.

Hence, why I never flirt.

We walk out of Wal-Mart, having spent around one hundred bucks. Half that on a game.

My pocket still jingles with pennies. I try to give them back to my brother, but he won't take him. I hate pennies. Apparently he does too.

I drop them off in my sister's hands when I get home.

I don't know the signifigance of the pennies. They just perplex me.

"Surrender, surrender, just don’t give yourself away"

I'm not sure what to tell all you people. The week seems to have disappeared.

Off into a different world.

I discovered Alex has read my blog. Hi Alex! Anyway, that alerts to me the fact that anyone who reads Ryo's blog has at least seen the link to mine.

Spooky.

I do not understand what the sudden obsesssion with my hair is. I simply do not get it. It's hair. Most of the time it's messy.

Yeah, I can't think of anything else to post. Today has been an off and wandering day.

I guess I'm still lost.

"Waste all your time with me, I know I'm a mess now, but don't give up believe. I'd wait it out for you."

Ok, so my cough still isn't gone. It is annoying me. I'm out of coughdrops.

Yay. I'm so happy. Now I really can cough my lungs out.

I can't remember going through life this quickly. I saw a picture of myself today. I was four. Back when I was cute and cuddly. But I looked so mature. And I remember thinking when I was four. Did the other kids think that way.

My nephew is four. Yet he doesn't seem to show the same mind capabilities I had at that age. He seems so young. Then again, maybe I'm just old. And I had to grow up fast.

I look at my sister sometimes and wonder why she's such a baby. Yes, I love her, but she just cries about every little thing. Today she asked me to go over to a friend's house. Now, obviously, I couldn't let her do that. My mom is working late tonight and it has always been the rule that she stay in the house. She knows that. But she tried to get around me by asking to call my mom at work. After weeding out what she wanted, I told her no.

She ran to her room crying.

She's nine.

I suppose I shouldn't criticize her. She's spoiled. Plus I had my brothers. Charlie would just pick on me more if I cried. So I didn't.

Once again, I also had to grow up quickly. At her age I was taking care of her and my nieces in an effort to help out my mother.

Still. Sometimes she is just ridiculous.

But I guess that is what little sisters do.

I was given the option of driving my truck on Sunday. Apparently I can drive. Although I blow through yield signs and stop in the middle of roads with no stop signs.

Whoops.

"Don't believe that it's better when you leave everything behind,
Don't believe that the weather is perfect the day that you die,
Don't believe that the weather is perfect the day that you die"

"What the hell is wrong with me? Don't fit in with anybody, how did this happen to me?"

I'm not sociable.

I'm not that intelligent.

I'm not that interesting.

So why do I have friends?

This occured to me today. I was talking with Jaki and a freshman named Tommy. They were commenting on their lack of the ability to make friends with kids in their grade.

It started me thinking when I said I didn't know how I recieved friends in my grade. They just gravitated toward me.

But really, how did I do it? I don't especially remember ever thinking, "Ok, I'm going to become this person's friend." It just happened. Without me realizing it.

To think back, middle school was....not so great for me. I left a group of friends, which was actually good. Joined another group which eventually dwindled down to three people. One moved, and one just happened to screw my life over. And I apologized for it.

Me. Apologize. When I thought I was right. See the problem?

She didn't accept.

Wow, how more could you piss me off?

I'm actually a very forgiving person. I will let people walk all over me, as previously discussed. But let me say, when I hold a grudge, it sticks. Indefinitely.

Anyways, I was left with one of the three. Heather. The only one left and my current best friend.

Only somehow, I reached high school. And I seem to do a lot better. As long as I stay away from the middle school torturers, I do really amazingly well.

Not counting the two girls from foods. Or Brady.

But for the first time in my life, it's ok if three of my friends are sick at the same time, or if I'm stuck in a foreign lunch.

And it's weird to realize I don't even try. So I'm just sitting here wondering how these people came to be my friends.

Because, believe me, if I knew, I probably wouldn't be so damn shy in the classes that I'm all alone in.

"Wide awake and I can't fall asleep, and every night is the worst night ever."

"I've got some imperfections, but how can you collect them all and throw them in my face."

School is back.

I don't know whether to scream or jump for joy.

I'm feeling conflicted emotions lately. Not fun.

Chloraseptic tab things make your tongue feel really weird.

Algebra 2 was spent talking to Joseph/Jaki, throwing a paper ball at Zach and watching bounce of his leg, and sulking in the corner listening to happy music.

Boring.

I have homework in Music Theory, which will take me a total of two minutes.

My life is very uninteresting currently.

However, I shall now retreat into my Sherlock Holmes book, as I searched for it all week only to find it in my bookbag this morning.

Doesn't life make you feel idiotic sometimes?

"A meaning buried under shuttered breathing, Its taking too long for me to spit it out"

Ok, I am less insane.

My new neighbors just moved in, no more loud music.

I realized that I am completely different with my home and school life. It's strange. It's not as if I am more myself in either of those two places, I'm just different.

I suppose it's because I feel more comfortable in my home environment. I don't have to worry about saying the wrong thing at the wrong time. At home I don't really talk at all. Then again, if my friends aren't by, I don't really talk at school either.

I'm more relaxed at home. I spend my time thinking of various things or reading. At school everything is busy and I have no time to think, except for English and Speech class.

I feel somewhat sorry for my student teacher in English. She tries too hard. The kids are always picking on her. I personally have a hard time listening to her read. She's tries to fast and stumbles everywhere. But she's nice. Just inexperienced. It's horrible for her, mostly because we're doing A Tale of Two Cities right now. I think I may be one of the only people who's actually read a few chapters.

I had only skimmed most of it, but she forced us to "catch up" in class. Which means fifty minutes of silently reading. Needless to say, I went from chapter ten to chapter twenty-two. Now I'm ahead of the class. Which is frustrating.

It makes it so much easier to space out. And I try not to do that when the teacher's are nice.

Oh well.

"I took a shot and didn't even come close, at trust and love and hope. And the poets are just kids who didn't make it, who never had it at all"

Hah! Me, a Cinderella? As if. First, I would make a terrible Cinderella. I had to sew a pair of pants up today. I was too lazy to get out the machine, so I decided to do it by hand. Without a thimble. One thumb is throbbing and another finger is full of many holes.

Second, by tomorrow my mom will be back home. I can go back to being the lazy child who always sneaks out of dishes.

I am now all grown up. I crossed the street by myself. Yep.

My scatter-brained mother left us with no mayonnaise. The lady in the dollar general kept staring at me. Granted, I did take a long time to grab the mayonnaise. But I wasn't shoplifting! I was debating on crackers.

Don't ask. Female cravings are weird.

Ok, so I took a long time. And fiddled with my purse to get money out. And I am sort of young. As much as I hate to say it, I don't actually look like a goody two shoes who would never steal.

Still, people shouldn't jump to conclusions. It's not nice.

So, now I am writing, flipping back between Ryo's e-mail and writing this. Pondering.

My room is silent. Weird. That must be fixed.

I have yet to kill the bugs....my mom hid the broom.

Ok, now I'm just bored. I read all my library books. Reread two. Played guitar, the piano, wrote poetry, got back on the internet, stared at the ceiling. For pete's sake, I practiced my clarinet. That's boredom.

School is tomorrow. Crap, school is tomorrow.

Well, at least I won't be bored. Sorry for the random drabness of this post.

"I’m a nightmare, a disaster, that's what they'd always say, I'm a lost cause, not a hero, but I'll make it on my own."

Day alone. With just my little sister.

I, being the wild and crazy teenager I am, throw a party. Right?

Hah!

I do not spend my night getting drunk and high like the other half the teenage population. As if I would.

Instead, I am elbow deep in dishwater, my sleeves rolled up. Headbanging to various bands coming out the computer speakers that I temporarily hooked up in the kitchen. While washing dishes.

I hate dishes. I pause for a while to make dinner.

I am a wonderful cook. I am masterful in any part of the kitchen. I could take anything in the kitchen, cook it, and have it come out extraordinary.

I am lying.

I was told by my mother to make chicken. Not that hard. Cut it up, stick it in the oven. Right?

I swear, in further notice to anyone who reads this, if I am ever left alone with raw chicken again, I shall shoot myself in the head before I go within ten feet of it.

It wouldn't come out of the package. I always see my mother make a slit in the plastic and just pull out a piece. Brilliant for her. I had to take the entire plastic off, then literally pry the chicken apart.

Which was freezing cold. And didn't want to cut into pieces. And was gooey and slippery. Honestly, my thumb was numb and bleeding (very slightly) by the end. Now, normally I'm exceedingly good with knives. Apparently the chicken has just decided to turn against me.

Then I stuck it in the oven. Only to bring it out a minute later.

Intelligent me. You have to season it. So I pulled the pepper out. That went well. I placed some salt on it. Then I vaguely heard my mother's voice calling out to me about garlic salt.

I dashed some on. Then some poured out, onto the chicken. Heh, heh. No big deal. I used my right hand to spread it farther from that spot. However, the rest still needed to be seasoned. And I had just touched the raw chicken.

Seasoning with your left hand when you are right-handed is not fun.

Back into the oven. Time to wash more dishes. The phone rang. My uncle was checking up on me. My father's brother. Grr...

I made small talk. I hate small talk. I cut short the conversation, saying I needed to check my chicken.

I turned up my music. "God Must Hate Me" by Simple Plan burst out. I'm so glad my neighbors moved. No worries about loudness.

I washed a big plate and turned to stick it on the drying rack. Which was full of dishes.

"Shit." Idiot that I am, I forgot to put them away. I dry the plate manually and then proceed to put the dishes away before washing more. Not keeping my eye on the time.

Forgetting to have set my timer, knowing that I would forget to check on the chicken.

I check on the chicken, thinking that maybe it's time to turn them over. They are completely white. Whoops. But no damage done. I flip them anyway and stick them back in. This time setting the timer for five minutes. During which I tried to boost my swiftly dropping self esteem by making ramen noodles. Something I can actually do.

I take the chicken out. It's brown on the edges. Erm....oops.

All together, it was ok. It was dry, a little tough, and I had to rip some crispy parts off, but it was ok.

Just a little salty.

Tomorrow I'm making sandwiches. Much safer. No oven involved.

So my day kind of sucked. I washed loads of dishes only to make even more. I have a horrible cough, suspiciously arriving after I sprinking the yard with Sevin dust. On the bright side, that meant last night I had to drink NyQuil to get rid of it long enough that I could get to sleep. And once asleep I slept till about noon.

"Someone save me if you will and take away all these pills and please just save me if you can from my blasphemy in my wasteland"

A clip in the movie of my life.

Me, running into my room, half my hair wet, the other still dry. In a towel.

I grab the bug spray.

There was this huge, very disasterously ugly, spider in the bathroom. Now normally I think spiders are cute.

I sprayed it with my trusty spray. It fell from the ceiling to the floor. I sprayed it more than necessary, in an effort to speed up the process.

I mean, come on, I was in the middle of my shower and I see this thing crawling on the ceiling. I handled it effortlessly better than my brother would have. For one, I didn't scream. I tried squishing it, but I was, erm, vertically challenged.

Hence the run to the bug spray.

I told my mom I killed it, only to have the legs move again. I let out a frustrated yelp and sprayed it more, then ran, still in my towel, to find a shoe.

There is now bug guts on the bathroom floor.

See, this slightly depresses me. I actually like bugs, especially spiders. It saddens me to kill them. Even if this one was ugly.

However, like all humans, I dislike everything when I'm vulnerable. A.k.a. in the shower or unconscious.

My trusty bug spray is within hand's reach of my bed.

Paranoid? Not really. My house needs to be bombed. With bug stuff. They supposedly did it before we moved in, but I do not see any evidence supporting that statement.

I do see evidence supporting my point of view.

Like the three spiders currently in the corners of my bedroom. Though, as long as they stay up there, they are safe.

At least until tomorrow, when I am getting a broom and getting rid of all things remotely insect-like the old fashioned way.

Plus a little bug spray.